Indeed, it is the day and it is the hour to celebrate again.
My dear ladies, gentlemen, distinguished guests, Scots to whom this 222-year-old ritual is more than familiar, and everybody else who is fond of this great tradition, a mixture of cheerful music, enchanting poetry, the good old haggis – as a dish or a dance –, a delicious whisky and Scottish country dancing.
After such a long pause without our beloved tradition, I am finally glad to announce: Tonight we follow the same procedure as last time and it is my pleasure again to take up the challenge of replying to Alan’s toast. And as he has done for decades he presented his kind words in rhymes to prove once again that he is the genius poet among us: humorous, creative and ironic. Rabbie would have been proud of a man stepping into his shoes.
But as women are said to have so many more words available than men, allow me to reply in a complete text as women usually have so much to talk about, especially when it comes to men. And don’t forget we always have the last word.
THE QUEEN – yes, she was an impressive woman, indeed and so I would like to thank Alan very much for celebrating her as by doing so he indirectly celebrates female power, female humour and female brilliance.
And yes, we have a king, now. King Charles III, who already is on his way to keep up with his mother when it comes to quotes by asking journalists:
“Do you really expect me to be the first Prince of Wales in history not to have a mistress?” – you see, he is even very close to Robert Burns who managed several mistresses at the same time.
But to be honest: Our secret king was and still is Robert Burns, the womanizer, a master of words who has enchanted lots of women with his poems till today.
He is the uncrowned king and therefore he was on the safe side of not breaking his neck when wearing a heavy crown on his head.
Additionally, his most famous lines “The Selkirk” are quoted each year all around the world and that even exceeds the number of the queen’s quotations.
This outstanding poet knew instinctively that lilies are not the right gift for adored women, but “red, red roses that newly sprung in June”.
So, we are more than happy that we live in modern times as we can meet all the gentlemen who inherited the genes of this great Scot and all his fellows, who are brave, strong , and intelligent . Have a look round tonight and admire the secret kinsmen, who are always well-dressed in their kilts embodying timeless masculine values. It is more than understandable that so many women melt for you laddies. Moreover, it is so much easier for Scotsmen to be recognized just by wearing a kilt which tells who you are and where you are from – no need for any stickers like the queen. I feel pity for her that she wasn’t recognized despite social media.
I am sorry to admit that we cannot fully agree with the queen that grief was the price we pay for love, as being wooed by men and listening to poems by rabbi make us feel just wonderful. Just in case you don’t feel confident with rhyming – don’t worry – I advise to use the app from the Scottish government containing over 500 of Burn’s poems and love songs.
But we do agree with the queen that everyone can get old – we only want to have it more spicy and add: it is easier with a good whisky, meaning water of life and with Scottish country dancing that keeps us young, energetic and fit. By doing so we might become even older than the Queen.
And it is not only our body that is trained but also our mind – believe me – it is not easy for everyone to remember which direction to dance, which shoulder to pass or which hand to use for a grand chain. But for now we celebrate with the all the descendants of these great Scotsmen, all men wearing these fantastic kilts and all men smiling at us when circling to the left and to the right, dancing down the middle and up and doing a dos-y-do.
I invite you now, Lassies, to raise your glasses to those gentlemen in the room who are our princes and make us feel like a queen.
Slainte mhath! To the Laddies!
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